Its hell out there. The snow is falling, the post office is closed and the blokes next door have been assaulting innocent pedestrians with rudimentary icy projectiles, pretty much all day long! I myself received such a blow to my inner thigh as I vaulted over our frozen shut front gate. Mercifully, I had no feeling left in said appendage after my fruitless trip to the post office.
Last night, at around 1am, my housemate and I constructed the second most monstrous snowman you would ever have seen. Complete with a carved visage (we had no carrots) and a withered arm, clutching a spent can of ginger beer.
In an unfortunate turn of events, the snow continued to fall over night and through out the day. The weight of fresh snow transforming our ugly but innocent snowman into what I can only describe as a phallic totem.
I should probably attempt to amend this horror but am reluctant to be seen manhandling such a thing. I will await until cover of darkness, where hopefully the snowball battery from next door will have subdued.